Comparison
by greenconverses
Summary: Goten's thoughts on how everyone he knows compares him to his older brother.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dragonball Z.

**Comparison**

_"A 'D?' Honestly! Why can't you get grades like your brother did? _Gohan _never got a 'D!'"_

That name. I can't stand it.

_"No, no! Not like that! Like _this_…I don't see what's so difficult about doing this attack. _Gohan _got it right away when I showed it to him."_

It's always popping up, no matter where I go.

_"Students, this is your new classmate, Son Goten. His older brother, _Son Gohan, _had prefect scores on his entrances exams when he enrolled in Orange Star High. Though I can't say the same for Goten here."_

It's like a disease. I can't escape it.

_"Geez, Goten. I thought you'd at least get smarter as you aged. Maybe _Gohan's _the only one in your family with an actual I.Q."_

My family, my friends, my teachers…Everyone.

I thought they'd understand by now. They should know me better than this. They should respect me for the person I am, not by what they _think _I should be.

They should have realized long ago that my name is Goten, not Gohan.

I'm not a scholar and I've never saved the Earth from certain doom more than once. I get some bad and some good grades, but I'm not quite as smart as my best friend. I'm popular and an all around good-hearted guy.

But I'm _not _Gohan, no matter how hard you want me to be. You can't make me be something that I'm not or mold me the way you want me. I can make my own decisions and you can't - and _won't_ - make them for me.

You don't understand though. You're always comparing me to Gohan, like a lab experiment. I'm the result that never seems to work out quite right, while Gohan's the perfect one that's always needed and wanted.

You won't stop pestering me until I become Gohan, will you? Sorry to disappoint you, but I'll never be Gohan because in your eyes, he's beyond perfection. To you, he's the ultimate son, fighter, and student. No one can compare to him.

And he's not me.

Don't get me wrong. I love Gohan, like a younger brother should. I adored him and he was my hero for the longest time. We played together and fought together all the time. He took care of me and I took care of him.

Then, I grew up and I realized for the first time that Gohan's _not _perfect. He makes mistakes, he screws up. He is human, although barely. You don't see that though, do you? All you see in him is you perfect, first-born son.

I wonder what you see when you look at me. Do you see Goten, your second child, the one who's always around with a smile on his face and always has a bright outlook on the day? Or do you see Goten, the screw up, the mini-me, and the one that'll never live up to his brother's achievements?

I sometimes wish it were the first choice.

Mom and Dad, you're not the only ones who compare. Bulma, Vegeta, Piccolo, Kuririn, and even Trunks do it too. They don't verbally suggest it all the time, but I know they're doing it. I can sense their eyes looking over me like I'm some kind of bug, unworthy to share the same surname as Gohan. I can feel their disappointment in me as a student and a fighter, all while I know I can never be as smart and as strong as Gohan is. They don't think I don't notice the way they whisper behind their hands or sneer at me when my back is turned.

If any of you think I like being compared to Gohan every single day of my life, then you don't know the first thing about me. You don't know that I'm not always happy, that it's just a front a put up to make _you_ happy. You could care less that I'm a good artist or that I've won several awards for my creativity. You don't care that I'm in the school chess club or that I got my spot on the baseball team without using my powers. I'm not Gohan, so you don't care.

You can't understand what its like to be me. The pressure youput me through everyday is enough to make me want to give up; it makes me want to stop being Goten.

But I won't.

I won't let you take away who I am and how I live my life. I won't stop fighting your ways, your _comparisons_ until you realize what you're doing.

I'll be different. I'll argue and shout until my voice is gone. I'll keep on getting my bad grades and acting naïve. I'll fight you-fist to fist, word for word to make you realize that your comparing and pestering won't do any good any more.

You can't change who I am or what I do. You won't make me be somebody other than me. You will not take away my identity or change me for your own selfish needs. You can't make become Gohan.

Because I am _Goten_ and I'd like to keep it that way.

_Comparison _noun_: \k__em-'par-e-sen\ Likeness; similarity; the evaluation or measurement of two entities to detect similarity; grammatical modification of an adjective to indicate degree or relationship between two quantities or qualities; Gohan and Goten._


End file.
